I was more than willing to leave my Iceberg onion rings,
OUTSIDE, but my Diet Coke too!
I explained to the nice older gentleman at the counter,
"I can leave my food outside, but you're going to have to choose between
beverages and profanity. When I'm without the first the latter usually follows!"
He liked that one, so he said the contraban soda was okay,
"But you didn't hear that from me, wink, wink."
Next I was on to the next counter where they check on my ID, my residency and the like.
I decided to have fun with her too. I left my weight blank.
"Could you fill this out please?"
"Who, Me?"
"Yes, we need your weight."
"Guess."
OUTSIDE, but my Diet Coke too!
I explained to the nice older gentleman at the counter,
"I can leave my food outside, but you're going to have to choose between
beverages and profanity. When I'm without the first the latter usually follows!"
He liked that one, so he said the contraban soda was okay,
"But you didn't hear that from me, wink, wink."
Next I was on to the next counter where they check on my ID, my residency and the like.
I decided to have fun with her too. I left my weight blank.
"Could you fill this out please?"
"Who, Me?"
"Yes, we need your weight."
"Guess."
"Excuse Me?"
"No really, what do you think I weigh?"
"I don't know, I can't say."
"Are you sure you're not supposed to fill it in for me?"
"I don't know, I've never been asked, hmm"
"Did you want to check with your supervisor?, I mean
really, you can't just fill it in for me?"
dramatic pause...
"That's okay, I'm just messing with you." (BIG SMILE)
Moving along, I had to take a test. I passed.
The one question I did get wrong was
True or False:
-Marijuana impares your judgement while driving-
I goofed and put "false", I actually didn't mean too, and since I wasn't behaving very maturely up to that point, it was now embarassing.
Next up, the photo shoot!
"Please sit and look at the blue dot until you see a flash."
1..2..
I DUCKED!
It was awesome!!
Of course I had to do a retake, and they probably all think I'm whacked,
but her reaction was totally worth it!!
"No really, what do you think I weigh?"
"I don't know, I can't say."
"Are you sure you're not supposed to fill it in for me?"
"I don't know, I've never been asked, hmm"
"Did you want to check with your supervisor?, I mean
really, you can't just fill it in for me?"
dramatic pause...
"That's okay, I'm just messing with you." (BIG SMILE)
Moving along, I had to take a test. I passed.
The one question I did get wrong was
True or False:
-Marijuana impares your judgement while driving-
I goofed and put "false", I actually didn't mean too, and since I wasn't behaving very maturely up to that point, it was now embarassing.
Next up, the photo shoot!
"Please sit and look at the blue dot until you see a flash."
1..2..
I DUCKED!
It was awesome!!
Of course I had to do a retake, and they probably all think I'm whacked,
but her reaction was totally worth it!!
disclaimer--I tried to play with the doodads re fonts and such, but the italics got stuck ON. Anyone know how to fix that?
7 comments:
Oh this is HILARIOUS!!!! I love it! I love you! Thank you Ms. Harlene! I love it when I actually get to laugh out loud from a post!
Thanks.
xoxoxoxoxo
You crack me up!
Well, that's one way to make government requirements fun.
I love it! How many of us have wanted to do that, and don't! Go for it Harlene!
Ha! Don't try to deny that you were stoned and had the munchies. You ain't foolin' me ;-)
You're too funny
I love it. Those DMV people need some fun in their mundane workday, right? You actually did them a favor. Keep up the good work and let us know of your next adventure!
Really. I love you. I don't know you. But I am in love!
You are, as of TODAY, being added to my favs.
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