What do you guys think about Surrogacy?
Would you use a surrogate mother?
Would you be a surrogate mother?
How do you feel about adoption vs your own DNA?
If possible, I am really curious about what everyone thinks and feels on this issue.
No, this is not something pertinent in our life right now, but it is something that has come up with people we love, and I'm still processing my thoughts on the issue.
I also really want to understand all the different aspects to this.
So please, do tell...
Would you use a surrogate mother?
Would you be a surrogate mother?
How do you feel about adoption vs your own DNA?
If possible, I am really curious about what everyone thinks and feels on this issue.
No, this is not something pertinent in our life right now, but it is something that has come up with people we love, and I'm still processing my thoughts on the issue.
I also really want to understand all the different aspects to this.
So please, do tell...
11 comments:
I don't know. I have thought about this because in my younger days, I was approached about being a surrogate. For me, I couldn't do it, but I know that some good parents want to have a baby so badly, they try anything. Interesting topic.
I don't have anything against being a surrogate. I'd actually thought about what an amazing gift it'd be to a couple that was eager to have children but couldn't. I feel very blessed to be able to get pregnant the first time we ever tried (or didn't try but didn't prevent) and I have a great deal of compassion for those that are unable to get pregnant and experience the joy of having children.
On the same token (and it's medically impossible for me to be a surrogate now) I wonder what sort of feelings a surrogate mother would have for the baby. At the very least It would cause a lifelong concern and feeling of responsibility for that child. I'm sure it's not that way for everyone but the questions that come up for me are:
What If I'm making something happen that isn't meant to be?
What if the parents end up divorced, or abusive?
Would I be responsible for what comes of it? I think to some degree, yes.
I think it is something, as most life-changing decisions should be, that is approached with great care, consideration and prayer. I would never judge someone else that decided for or against it. It's so personal.
I'm not sure. Could turn out good, could turn out bad. I've seen (on tv) and read about both sides. Would be a tough decision to make!
Interesting question. I don't think I'm against it per se, but I think I would maybe look at other options first, and probably consider adoption.
Hey, friend, are you still coming tomorrow?
Oh, I love the deep topic. What a question.
I would probably say that there are enough babies who need homes and if someone really wanted children, they should be willing to take one through adoption.
Surrogacy presents so many risk factors, and not just during the pregnancy. I don't think I could do it.
So, what IS your stance? :)
Not having read what anyone else wrote, I'll share my thoughts. I would not use a surrogate, there are so many children in foster care/up for adoption, those are better options. In extraordinary circumstances I might do it for someone I loved very much. There are so many legal and ethical issues, too many chances for a train wreck.
I had a friend who was asked in a family reunion to be a surrogate, without medical intervention if you know what I mean. Wink wink
The Church's policy on surrogate motherhood is that it's strongly discouraged.
My two...
I agree that it presents lots of problems, emotionaly. But I understand the side of the parents who want a child they know is going to be drug free and healthy, (Most people like to start with a clean slate), have DNA that is related,(same disease risks, looks similar, IS their biological relation.) This is as close to the real thing as you can get if you can't go there yourself.
Then the big BUT comes in. There are a LOT of children out there who need parents. Most of them NOT babies and already partly screwed up in some way. It takes a really unselfish person to want to take on problems that someone else has made, and many desperate people do when they want children enough. But usually after they make that sacrifice they realize it was a blessing. I have yet to meet an adoptive parent of any kind of "damaged" child that said it was a mistake to adopt them.
Then maybe my experience is limited.
The funny thing about surrogacy is that it is usually very expensive and not an option for most people, so in some ways the wealthy are able to buy a healthier child. And some very wealthy parents (mothers) are opting for surrogacy so they don't have to go thru the pregnancy, THAT I think is simply wrong.
As far as being a surrogate mother, the sucess of that depends on her emotional state and purposes. Those can vary all over the board. But in the right situation and with the right intents all around I think it can be a blessing. I heard of a woman who was surrogate for her sister and her brother-in-law's biological child. In that situation it seemed very right.
Where's the picture of me and Deiter
on the landing?
Where's the picture of me and Deiter
on the landing?
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